Tip of the day: If you're going to microwave your kitchen sponge to
disinfect it, make sure it has water in it.

I learned this the hard way this morning when I microwaved our
environmentally-friendly organic bamboo fiber dish scrubber (purchased
at too high a price at the food co-op, because I'm so clever and would
be saving the cost of those floppy green scrubbers that get all
disgusting within a week because you can't get all the crap out of
them, because they're designed specifically to pick up that crap and
then you just have to toss them but they stay all moldy and make the
trash smelly and you have to pretend not to smell it because you're
passive-aggressively waiting for your husband to take it out before
you, even though you'll eventually be forced to after the dog gets
curious and knocks the trash can over at 3 am trying to get a better
sniff; basically there is just nothing good about the floppy green
ones). I was smug, and pride goeth before a fall.

Basically I baked a crapload of bamboo fiber in the microwave this
morning because the goddamned thing was dry. It smells ungodly. And
the tragic part is that it probably didn't really even need to be
disinfected yet, considering I've only had the thing since Saturday.
Learn from my mistake. Douse those fuckers good before they get
zapped!